Greedy couple demands $200 a head ahead of their wedding, forcing the friend group to collectively refuse and RSVP no to their suddenly glamorous ceremony: ‘We would not be paying this and send a collective message that the $200 fee feels offensive’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
May 1, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

There's nothing quite like watching two people you've split pizza crusts with suddenly rebrand themselves overnight as the Duke and Duchess of Dollar Signs. One minute, your friends are hosting potlucks in a home with an accent wall made of exposed insulation, the next they're clutching pearls and charging $200 a head for the privilege of witnessing their vows. Black tie, darling, don't forget the cash-only gift and the dress code stricter than a royal garden party.

What I love about this is the delusion, because, guys, c'mon, we know your roots. We know your branches actually, because it's not some humble upbringing nostalgia - you didn't have any money last week.

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  • We’ve seen you eat microwaved dumplings straight from the bag. Your luxury venue is a community center with folding chairs, and your unfinished basement could still double as a haunted house fundraiser. If you can’t swing the soiree of your champagne dreams, maybe don’t hand the bill to your fellow broke friends, who are still waiting for payday to buy socks.

    The sudden leap from BYOB and hope for the best to pay for entry, no drinks included, is less elegant upgrade, more greedy Hail Mary.

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    "We declined to attend a wedding because they wanted $200 a person. Now we aren’t friends anymore"

    "They wanted to make sure we'd bring cash to the wedding❞
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    My friends got engaged and recently threw a wedding shower to celebrate. They invited our friend group, so about 12 people in total. We've all been friends for about 8 years. None of us had
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    attended a wedding shower before, so we were not sure about gift etiquette. We asked in the group chat and in person what we should bring, and got a
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    vague answer that they'd prefer cash but anything would be appreciated. Collectively, we decided to bring communal gifts to the wedding shower and then
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    Cheezburger Image 10499212032
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    cash gifts to the actual wedding. Nowhere did they say they only expected cash or that there was a minimum expectation of gifts. On the day of, we brought wine,
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    flowers, jewellery, an edible arrangement, and a card. Collectively, we each spent minimum $15, with some
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    Cheezburger Image 10499212288
    via candyboximages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    spending more. I do fully admit that perhaps that was cheap of us, but our friend group is mostly students so there's not a ton of money going around. We also thought since we were planning
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    on bringing cash (I was personally planning on bringing $100, and I know others were planning similar amounts) to the wedding, that it would be fine to only bring a small gift to the wedding shower.
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    The morning after the wedding shower, we get a message that to attend the wedding it would be $200 per person and would not include drinks. Nowhere on the
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    wedding invite did it mention this. The invite itself said "if you like, cash gifts are appreciated". After some deliberation, we decide we would not be paying
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    this and send a collective message that the $200 fee feels offensive, especially as we are also planning for and paying for the bachelorette, and the dress code is very specific and black tie
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    so buying an outfit for that would also add up. I should also mention that even though none of us were asked to be in the bridal party, we still took
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    responsibility for planning her bachelorette and we were intending on paying for her, although we had not told her that yet. We get a message back that they decided to charge the fee
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    because they feel we cheaped out at the wedding shower, and I guess they wanted to make sure we'd actually bring cash to the wedding? They removed themselves from the groupchat
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    and blocked everyone, so obviously no one is attending anymore, and the bachelorette is cancelled. As a rule, I don't think our friend group are cheap
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    people. We always celebrate people's birthdays, grads, and other life events when they come up with gifts and contributions to potlucks, even though a lot of us
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    are broke. I could understand if we never bring gifts to anything, but we are always there to celebrate peoples achievements and milestone.
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    Are we r de for not wanting to pay this? It just feels insane to pay this when drinks won't be included, and the wedding is local. The wedding is also not going to be much of a party, they only booked the reception until
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    9:30 pm so after that we get kicked out. I also think there were better ways to handle it if they thought we were stingy about the wedding shower, rather than charging us a passive aggressive fee.
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    Other things to know: Most of us are students or just graduated and do not have full time jobs so money is on the tighter side. Last year they purchased a half a million dollar house with no lawn and unfinished basement. They were hiring a photographer friend for 1/4 of the price.(who won't be attending now)
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    Why I might be at fault. They did say they would prefer cash when we asked, but no one brought cash. We interpreted that as gifts for the wedding shower, and cash at the wedding. We had not told her yet we would be paying for her part of the bachelorette. I
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    know it's traditional to pay the brides way, so maybe she thought we were going to let her pay for her part and drinks on her own. They said it's a cultural thing to splash out at weddings and wedding related events.
    via EpicKessler

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boyfriend friendship bad friend wedding party event friends wedding ceremony events friend mean girls wedding Party dinner entitled people
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